.: blushing :.
______________________
Saturday, August 27, 2005
my last post
it's a bittersweet ending. this maybe the hardest entry i ever have to write.
my heartfelt thanks to everyone who tried to see things through my eyes. i hope i was able to inspire you guys somehow. but sadly, i have to let the memories that come with my entries go. i don't want to be reminded of everything but that obviously wouldn't happen, so moving is one of my futile attempts to do so. i want to start anew and hopefully, it is something that would have no end in sight.
good things come to those who wait. but unfortunately not for me. now, i find myself dreaming once more for someone who won't give me up this time. he'll come. whoever he is, i want him to love me and mean it in every sense of the word. can't wait. :)
Monday, July 25, 2005
on kuky's comment on my comment on sheena's comment
like i know.
sweetie, try to be good. (and when i say good, it's not your hypocritical praise god b.s.) i mean REALLY good. don't go stabbing our backs with your boisterous rumble. [rumble, n. a loud low dull continuous noise - dictionary.reference.com]
friendship is based on trust, and i TRUSTED you. that's my fault. now i know better than to keep my mouth shut around a loud mouth like you.
imitation is the worst form of flattery
i never got the thank you note, darling. but you're not welcome anyway.
let me give you a tip and let's not beat around the bush this time. imitation is the WORST form of flattery, especially if you steal an idea and claim it as yours. intellectual property is well-guarded in this town, and if you don't have the audacity to properly cite your sources, then you don't have the right to lay your eyes on my writing.
words are just words. plain and simple. no need to complicate your life with all the psycho-babble bullshit. speak from your heart, not from mine will you? vous chienne vous baiseur. thanks kuky. :D [see, it's not too hard to state a reference, is it?]
Saturday, July 16, 2005
birthday blush, a long overdue post
it's official. this is, by far, the best birthday i've ever had. :)
in contrary to last year's distressing event, my 364 days of waiting paid off. i thought this year wouldn't be any different... but like any of my other thoughts, i was wrong. you interested to know why? read on. :p
monday, july 11
i could hardly sleep with all the midnight well-wishers. i can't quite remember the last time i had my phone constantly lighting up with messages.. mostly from people close to me and surprisingly from people who i didn't even think knew it was my birthday. plus, i didn't imagine that someone would come over to greet me personally on the first hour of the day.
my thank you's go out to: mark, margaret, james s., greg, edel, emil, sheena, eugene, arnel r., nickel, jr a., annabai, jc c., dane, mike sy, bert, janina, macky, nina a., mario, brian g., rannel, belle, jc ty, boogie, piah, clarissa, ate karen b., carlo calopster, patrick m., chris e., anna a., gerard, sjeanz, ronald y., ploplo, feliz, johzen, ed c., luis, jana, balbi, jeng, echo, ana c., mhaven, bryant, karz, moler, candz, junjun, angge, anthony, besbud, jowell, daqs, anne k., ysabel, kuya ging, ate leah, euan, miko, tito ed, tita angie, kris, chellai, christian n., kathy, dean, kats, jc v, and eder. whew! that's in order of greeting.. no special preference here. hehe! :p
friday, july 15
nope, my birthday's not over yet. haha! it's my birthday celebration at lokaldero, fort strip. i can't believe how lucky i am. moments like this that i'm thankful for the people who love and care for me. though nervous of the outcome of the defense i had earlier (which turned out to be a positive one), i was psyched. finally, time to rid myself of the worries and wash my troubles down with alcohol. haha! so there i was, there we were. everyone seems to be having a great time! (i hope they really did. :D) the band there asked me to sing, and though i'm not much of a singer, i didn't want to be a spoiled sport either. so i did. who'd have thought this was how the pieces fit.. you and i shudn't even try making sense of it :D hehe!
i love love love surprises. my college friends really put a lot of effort in making my birthdays fun and exciting. i remember then, they had some sort of a plan too for my 18th birthday.. and that was really sweet. all i recall is sheena's handwriting on a piece of paper with names of 18 people.. and to this day, it was the same person's penmanship that symbolized a lot of passion to put together something great-- but now, with 21 names. hence, the 21 shots.
my brother was first, and his speech was the one that hit the spot. i never thought how protective he is.. he really didn't come off as the type who'd say those things, but i'm glad he did. then, my mom was second. hers was quite funny coz it's her first time to take a shot and looked totally clueless. haha! karen and gio were next. hehe :D karen's really like a sister to me, like part of the family already. i'm glad she was there because of how happy and inspired he makes my brother (they even sang!) and gio. haha! kulit. :p obviously, he's drunk. (7 years na pala kaming magkakilala.. :D) tapos friends ko na.. dami ko palang kaibigan, grabe. i love you all so much. thank you for planning something i'd remember all my life. i'll have a distinct memory of that day and the surprise you gave me. that's the best gift i received this year. thank you for making me feel special and loved. andrama! hehe :D
to sheena, candz and kuky -- thanks for the friendship.. for knowing what exactly i want.. and for making it happen. thank you. to my csa barkada, even though we're incomplete, i'll have you know that a huge part of who i am is because of all of you! thank you to each and everyone of you! :D DONSE, wow! an almost complete attendance. haha! i hope we could do this again sometime next year when we all jump over the hurdles of academic stress and obligations. haha! :)
and lastly, to the surprise guest- sobrang salamat. i didn't think you'd show up but i guess it's how fate designed it to be. kismet ;) i'm a fortunate little gal. thank you so much to the man behind the flowers. :)
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
whatever happened to private thoughts
i never appreciated the value of metaphors until now... because certainly, whatever it is that i am feeling cannot be divulged and written in a public journal unless in a very discrete and subtle manner. shall we begin?
i wore my gauntlet and ran the race. i'm doubting that i came into this whole battle prepared. you see, i know nothing about cars, engines and motors let alone engaging gears in top speed. all i want is the wind in my hair and the blood flowing through my veins. i want excitement, adrenalin- the rush that can only be felt when i let go of my fears and take on a new challenge. the race track was smooth, i guess. but this is where i believe i was misled.
i was quick to judge and underestimate this course. it was here that i saw my match, a worthy competitor who constantly wanted to overtake me on sharp turns. you who kept me at bay with my competitive side, you who made me feel i had to defy my limits to reach newer and greater heights. i had to learn things quickly for if not, i would have been left behind with only the consolation prize in one hand and a broken pride on the other.
my heart was in the game.
i had invested too much to go home empty-handed. i wanted to run each lap perfectly each time. but sometimes, the sun gets in my eyes, blinded as to where i am going. that's how it is when you feel weary and tired of the same old race track - a course that seemed smooth at first, but after several runs around it, you discover that it has its own roadblocks.
you kept nudging me to the side as if the path wasn't big enough for the both of us. i almost hit the wall but through reflex, i was able to step on the brakes and bounce back. scarred and handicapped, i continue on to see what's beyond the finish line. i just can't wait to go home with the real prize...
not pride...
not fame...
but happiness.
if you don't step it up a notch, i bet i won't see you even crossing the line with me. you begin to tremble at the thought of me beating you at your own game. pull out every maneuver, every trick off your sleeve. you'll need it. there's no time for pitstops now because you know you won't see even my shadow if you take one. there are no shortcuts here, we know there's only one way to our destination. my advice? take that path. it's sure to take you where you need to go.
i may not have as much experience as you do, but believe you me, i have what it takes to walk away with my head held up high, knowing in my heart that i gave everything in the fairest and most suitable way.
i gambled. i risked. and i'll win even if i lose.
i'm a victor in my own right.
Saturday, June 25, 2005
the underdogs
i don't know how to start this entry but to say, he's worth it.
(for those of you who watched the game today, you'll probably get the idea where i'm coming from.)
it was a long shot... or so they thought. down by 12 and a mere 14:51 minutes left till the whistle ending the game. it's the spaniards' possession... great. he said they'll win, and i believe him. i've always believed him, even when the whole world was against the idea of giving him a chance to play. so the game resumed and as usual, i was at the edge of my seat. i was out of breath as the lead grew from 12 to 14. not long after that was a series of fortunate events as he drew the difference closer. of course, i'd also like to give credit where it is due (kudos eng, felmer, marc, and desun!) with 18 points and counting, he managed to throw another shot - his 20th and coincidentally the shot that made them take over the lead. wow. my jaw hit the floor as i saw a man who used to be underestimated but now appears to be the number one threat. (ok, this is the proud girl___friend speaking.--> daming space niyan ah!) anyway, it was the first time that donse had more points than the other team. and the game could might as well have ended there. but fate was hungry for more.
the game went on overtime because of eng, and was i relieved. i hate to see him disappointed since i knew this meant so much to him. aaron not playing made him sad and he said this game was for him. so with that thought, he gave everything. i mean EVERYTHING. if it meant grabbing each rebound he can, that's what he did.
20 seconds. daqs shot a great three-pointer putting the score to 70-68. i figured, double overtime. everyone was edgy. and just as my heart raced, i looked on to see that he had shot a three. parang tumigil yung oras. slow motion, pareh. haha. it was crucial and breath-taking.. and it went in. 70-71. damn. he did it. he won. grabe. if you could just see everyone's face. they were shocked to see someone who has never played before, play this good. i wasn't surprised just because i believed.. sometimes it's nice to go against the tide and prove something, than go with what everyone's thinking and find out you could have gone the other way. i took the road less traveled, and what a journey it was. :) i couldn't imagine what the game would turn out to be without him. and i wouldn't change anything about the game. (well, maybe except for the shot which he said was for me but didn't go in. hehe :D) it was a nice game nonetheless. tama nga, iba talaga pag donse-spaniards. :p
i love the feeling of being with a winner.
to my bulacan champ: i couldn't be more proud of you!! i'm so happy you've made it this far, and there's no turning back from here on out. show them what you're made of. good things come to good people.. that's why you're so blessed. (alala mo to?) haha! galeng galeng galeng mo talaga. nakakagigil! i owe you 23. ;)
today's high: omc!
today's low: user-friendly, hypocritical, plastic and superficial good-for-nothing backstabberS. bring it on.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
magkkwento lang..
i just received the write-up that he wrote. haha! everyone saw that i did! :) kulit, may pa-paper rose effect pa! haha! i luv luv luv it! :D i knew i could count on him to get the job done. ;)
anyway, last night was a blast! it was so fun! kahit pangit presentation namin, being with the other ojts pretty much made up for it. we stayed until 1am (i think) to finish the freestyle band. joshua was so hot. haha! at the start palang of their first set, i began noticing him already and i couldn't take my eyes off. he sang great too, unlike the other guy who had the mohawk. haha! i wish i had my pic taken with him.. (damn i can't believe i'm a fan). whatta loser. haha!
i've been constantly happy these past few days, not considering the asshole who made me furious last thursday. i wish everyday's like this. couldn't ask for anything else. i think i have what i need and want. :D
damnit, i luv it when im so inspired.
and it's not because of joshua but because of mark. :)
inxs: get well soon margaret! :)
Thursday, June 09, 2005
so f*cking pissed
kala mo kung sino kang magaling ha?? sino ka ba? y don't u get the hell out of that world you're in where you think that you're the king and everyone's your dummy. you think you can order everyone around? that's where you're mistaken pal. i'm running on a short fuse, just a few more of your nonsense bullshit crap and you're gonna get it from me. you're too afraid to admit that someone's better than you in all aspects. yes, ALL aspects. but cge i'll give you something to be proud about -- that you're a lying and manipulative person that i don't ever want to be associated with. so thank you for ruining another good day of mine by opening your stupid mouth. isa kang malaking kagaguhan sa mundo.
f*ck you.
||.L.0.v.e.*-||
